 printer friendly version
|
Title: Being God's Partner: How to Find the Hidden Link Between Spirituality and Your Work
Author: Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin
Publisher: Jewish Lights Publishing
Date: 1994
Reviewer: Joe Epstein, Conflict Resolution Services, Inc., www.crs-adr.com
In reviewing books for the International Academy of Mediators, I have taken note of which authors and/or editors address the place of spirituality in the workplace that mediators call home. One author, Suzanne Ghais, in Extreme Facilitation (Jossey-Bass 2005) P231-232 specifically addressed this topic. Another renown author and trainer, Kenneth Cloke, addresses this topic in his powerful book Mediating Dangerously (Jossey-Bass 2001) P119-125.
As noted, Suzanna Ghais in her acclaimed book, Extreme Facilitation, addresses the "essence of spirituality, separating it from particular religious institutions or traditions." (Ghais at P231). She suggests in this content spirituality "concerns helping people rise above our base, selfish, animal natures... and possibly even to make peace with their enemies" (Id). Ghais noted that calling forth our participants spirituality need not be visible, audible, or detectable... Our spirituality... can help make it in others." (Ghais Id at P233).
Ghais emphasizes that feeling compassion for another is an element of spirituality (Ghais at P233). Feeling another's pain is another element of spirituality (Ghais Id at P235). Act knowingly of our own prejudices and stereotypes reflect our spiritual capacity. (Ghais Id at P237). Creating faith, hope and gratitude are additional elements of spirituality. (Ghais at P238-242). Ghais states that truthfulness is crucial to facilitation, that we must promote honesty and develop a sense of community. (Ghais at P242-249). She pins this point down by noting it is our job to "fortify people's own spiritual strength and tap the spirituality in group members to transcend their their worst human tendencies and reach their higher human potential" (Ghais at P249).
In Mediating Dangerously, Kenneth Cloke notes that mediation is about "respect, honest and empathetic communication, trusting collaborative relationships, responsibility, forgiveness and closure." (Cloke at P119). Every conflict and every resolution, says Cloke, "has a spiritual dimension and energy... Boldness, spirited issues in mediation, it is necessary to become aware of and cultivate spiritual experience within ourselves, which means pursing mediation as a spiritual task." (Cloke at P125).
While the Fordham Urban Law Journal (April 2001) had an excellent series of articles on this topic, I have, for the most part, been disappointed that writers on mediation generally fail to focus much, if any, attention to the spiritual dimension of mediation. Interestingly, one of these articles, written from a Jewish perspective, was written by Robert A. Barnck Bush Mediator and ADR: Insights from the Jewish Tradition. (28 Fordham Urban Law Journal 100, April 2001.) Part of Bush's thesis ,that Jewish tradition favors mediation, is that::
"Adjudication gives judgment, but does not lead to peace because it produces a winner and a loser, and the looser is unlikely to be appeased or reconciled with the winner. By contrast, when a mediated compromise is achieved, both parties are to some extent satisfied... In making a compromise, parties do more than they really are required to do, they accept less than they are entitled to, or give more than they are obligated to give..." (Bush at 1011 - 1012) (Citations omitted).
Bush drives this point home by quoting from Leviticus, "have your fellow as yourself" (Bush at 1012) and noting Rabbi Hillel's famous saying:
"If I am not for myself, who is for me? And, if I am only for myself, what am I? And, if not now, when?" (Bush at 1013).
In any event, looking for further guidance I picked up an old book with a discussion on spirituality which I believe has relevance for mediators. It was the subtitle - How to Find the Hidden Link Between Spirituality and Your Work - that drew me to this book (Being God's Partner) by Rabbi Salkin.
Mitzvah
JE - needs definition from glossary
"Letting spirituality and faith speak to us in our work will remind us of ..... [t]he idea of mitzvah, of holy obligation...
Letting spirituality and faith speak to us in our work will teach us to act on the basis of our better moral impulses and values. It will help us be more creative and socially responsible...
Letting spirituality and faith speak to us - and hearing that voice in our workplaces - will extinguish the false distinction between the world of the spirit and the world of the market." (Salkin at P32).
The wise words of Rabbi Salkin remind us that spirituality that should infuse our work. He inspires us to bring the moral values of our faith to our workplace. How can we model ethics, morality, compassion, and integrity? How can we encourage a mediation that is reflective of dignity and respect, while discouraging of prejudice and distain? A Hasidic teaching asks, "Where is God?". "Wherever you let God in," comes the answer.... (Salkin at P58). Salkin is suggesting that if we are one with God than we will touch our clients in a special way and encourage them to act in God's image as well.
Salkin notes that in Exodus 34 God tells Moses about the divine essence:
"Compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin..." (Ex 34:6) (Salkin at P63).
Imagine conducting a mediation where compassion is genuine and reflected in the negotiation. Imagine a mediation where a party finds it within herself or himself to forgive another. How freeing is that for both the forgiving party and the party forgiven? Vengeance is a terrible thing. Revenge can cripple a soul. Maybe, that is why God said vengeance is his responsibility not ours.
Tzimtzum
JE - needs definition from glossary
Rabbi Salkin explains that before the creation of the world, all was filled with God's light (Salkin at P90). "To make room for the world, God had to contract (Salkin at P90-91). That contraction is called tzimtzum. (Salkin at P91). So, suggests Salkin, the way we can imitiate God in our work is to imitate tzimtzium (Salkin at P91). That is, instead of taking center stage and demanding the spotlight, competence may require that "we step back and let others do and be" (Salkin at P91). Thus, we let others take the spotlight, let others ask key questions, let others express their feelings and emotions. Maybe what we have to do as successful mediators is to "lay aside my 'self;' the ego that demands recognition and turf and something uniquely my own" (Salkin at P92). This in Hasidic thought is called bittul ha-yesh. Thus, the truly ideal situation is when we mediators merely serve as creative catalysts allowing the parties take center stage.
Tikkun
JE needs definition from glossary
We repair the world through prayer and religious study and, importantly for mediators, through each deed of kindness and justice we perform (Salkin at P103). Thus, like Aaron, we are seekers of peace, the rodef shalom (Salkin at P105). What we do and how we do it survives us (Salkin at P121). Business should be conducted in accord with ethical tradition (Salkin at P121). One example of this is the Jewish tradition that a man does not reap his land its very edges or pick his vineyard bare (Salkin at P129). Thus, something is left for the poor or the stranger. For mediators that means facilitating a process that encourages parties to rise above the pain, to make peace with their enemies, and to come to a satisfying closure.
This concept is expanded upon by Rabbi Elliott N. Dorff in The Way Into Tikkun Olam (Repairing the World), (Jewish Lights Publishing 2005). Rabbi Dorff refers to tikkun olam as a central Jewish precept expressing a concern for "fixing the world" by making it a better place. (Dorff at 2). Pertinent to mediators, Rabbi Dorff notes that:
"doing justice is not restricted to abiding or judging according to the rules; it certainly does demand that, but also requires that one balance justice with kindness." (Dorff at 16). (citation omitted)
I take this to mean a rights based analysis isn't always the correct way to mediate. Is it not possible for people to negotiate and mediate modeling themselves after God? Can we be "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness..... (Dorff at 18).
Rabbi Dorff, in order to "repair the world" notes the necessity of not speaking ill of others. He notes that slander slays the speaker, the listener, and the one spoken about. (Dorff at 69. See also 74-75, 81 and 106). This we know intuitively. We model otherwise, we coach otherwise, we say that we do not want to hear such comments.
Rabbi Salkin's book was not written for mediators, but its universal lessons provide and Rabbi Dorff's as well, provide inspiration for the special work of mediators. Both books reminder us of how we can challenge ourselves to bring our spirituality to the workplace. Just like Jewish rye bread, you do not have to be Jewish to be enriched by the precepts in these books. Interestingly, both Ghais and Cloke, in their own words and with their own formulations echo Rabbi Salkin's analysis and call us to bring a higher purpose to mediation. We must remember that what we do and how we do it survives us. (See generally, Salkin at P121-123). '
|
|
|
|
