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BOOK REVIEW
Title: Beyond Reason
Authors: Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro
Publisher: Viking (2005)
Book review by Joe Epstein (Conflict Resolution Services, Inc., joe@crs-adr.com)
Every once in a while we pick up a book that resonates with us. Years ago I felt that Ken Cloke's book, Mediating Dangerously1 , was such a book. It reaffirmed what I was thinking about and doing with regard to my mediation process. Beyond Reason, by Roger Fisher and Daniel Fisher, is a book long discussion about the emotions that enter into the negotiation and mediation process. Once again, I feel that someone has captured, better than I could, my thoughts and feelings about this aspect of the mediation process. If you want to "read" and understand the points of view of others in your negotiation and mediations better, this is a must read book. If you want people to leave your mediations satisfied with the process as well as the results, this is a must read book. If you want to understand your emotional process as a negotiator, this is a must read book.
This fine volume opens with a powerful comment that sets the tone for this book; it is:
"We cannot stop having emotions any more than we can stop having thoughts. The challenge is learning to stimulate helpful emotions in those with who we negotiate - and, in ourselves" (P ix).
The authors point out that emotions can be obstacles to negotiation in that they can divert attention from substantive matters, damage a relationship, and be used to exploit you (P 5). Emotions can, as Fisher and Shapiro also point out, be positive (P 6-8). Positive emotions can make it easier to meet substantive issues, enhance relationships, and they need not increase the risk of exploitation (P 7-8).
Fisher and Shapiro postulate that five core concerns stimulate many of our emotions (P 15-21). These core concerns are: appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status and role (Id). Fisher and Shapiro explain that these core concerns can be used as a lens to see a situation more clearly and as a lever to improve a situation (P 18.21).
The authors emphasize the importance of expressing appreciation. They say that we need:
- "To understand each other's point of view;
- To find merit in which each of us thinks, feels, or does; and
- To communicate our understanding through words and actions" (P 28).
They tell us to listen for the "music" and to listen for "meta-messages" (P 28-29). Fisher and Shapiro suggest using role reversal in the preparation for negotiations (P 41-44). This means putting yourself in another's shoes. I have had parties do something like this when I have asked advocates to open as if they represented their opponent's client.
Another helpful strategy suggested by the authors is to prepare a list of questions to learn another's perspective (P 44-45). These questions can be used by negotiators and mediators alike. Questions suggested by the authors include:
"Help me understand where are you coming from on this?"
"Help me understand how you see things."
"Of all the things we've talked about today, what do you see as most important?"
"What are some of the other things that you care a lot about in the negotiations?" (P 44).
On the other hand, the authors suggest how negotiations can help others to understand your point of view. Their suggestions include (1) proposing a time limit, (2) tailoring your message to be heard, (3) using metaphors, (4) having only a few points, and (5) asking for what they hear you saying (P 46-49).
The authors close their book by emphasizing the need for preparation. They reference the need to prepare on process, to prepare on substance, and to prepare on emotion (P 169 - 182).
Suggestions and insights on negotiation and mediation (although the latter is not specifically addressed) abound in this book. What makes it so very special is its focus on the emotional dimension of mediation. As lawyers working with other lawyers, adjusters, and businessmen and women we tend to emphasize the rational. Too often this means we fail to address the emotional component of the negotiation and mediation process. This important component fits along side the transformative2 and spiritual components3 of negotiation and mediation. Discussion about and emphasis on these components of impersonal interaction during negotiation and mediation will make us better negotiators, mediators, and people. This excellent book will help all of us to find our way.
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